Vlad "the Impaler" (kitty cat) narrowly escapes arrest after "accidentally" punching VP Kelly K Bartram in the eye!
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Please be advised that this Web site, all of its sub-sites, and all other material contained herein are the intellectual property of this Web site, and more specifically Kelly K Bartram.

All references to the Federal Republic of Nassau West, or its agencies, bureaus, departments, etc., are purely fictitious, and are for entertainment purposes only!

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For once, and one time only, I would like to see Barbara Walters host the New Year's Eve Ball Drop In New York City this next go around. No Dick Clark (RIP), no Ryan Seacrest, just Babs! RIP, Hugh Downs. I miss those seemingly much, MUCH simpler days.

I would LOVE to hear her say, when the ball drops,

"I am Barbara Walters, and THIS ... is 2020." ;)

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191112C2103  "SuperTanker" Down - BOLO Issued

The SuperTanker on Tuesday, November 12, 2019, at the NW Capitol. It is with a heavy heart that the Nassau West Department of Transportation has announced the accidental destruction of the "SuperTanker", which is used to hydrate (or dehydrate, depending on what liquid it is transporting at the time) NW Vice President Kelly K Bartram.

The "SuperTanker", shown in its current discombobulated state in the photo, has a liquid capacity of 100 ounces (oz). This capacity is just a bit over two 12 oz cans under a gallon (128 oz). When full of liquid (usually Dr Pepper, Pepsi, or tea of some sort [perhaps, "WhisTea"?]), the "SuperTanker" weighs in at over four pounds (lbs). Quite a strain on the wrist when full!

A claim has been filed with the Nassau West Federal Insurance Corporation (NWFIC) for replacement of the "SuperTanker", which retails at $15.99, about $17.50 with taxes. The claim has been approved, but a new "SuperTanker" has not yet been located at several of the local Circle K stores.

In response to the lack of action, the Nassau West Department of Justice has issued a BOLO (Be On the LookOut) to locate a new "SuperTanker". If anyone reading this article happens upon a Circle K store that has a 100 oz Polar Pop ("SuperTanker"), you are hereby implored to contact your nearest Nassau West representative with the location and details of what has been discovered.

Alternately, an Amazon.com search has been initiated to replace the "SuperTanker" with an even bigger vessel, 128 oz (one gallon). Hopefully, any new purchase of this type will include a wheeled stand of some sort to support the weight. This situation MUST be rectified ... ASAP.

The VP is just not the same without his DP (Dr Pepper)! Please, and thank you!   Comments?

191110A2024  DONE, and Done! Good Times are on their Way!

Nassau West Tiara on Saturday, November 9, 2019, at the NW Capitol. Nassau West Tiara has been FULLY recertified, as a result of the purchase and installation of new Cooper Cobra tires. However, it is worth noting that the braking system aboard needs attention, very soon.

So, as mentioned above, the first part of the problem is done! The new tires are GREAT, and there is now a spare onboard, as well.

Now, for the second part of done, new brake system equipment was purchased, and is awaiting installation. At this time, the braking system is not in dire need of correction, so the full recertification stands for now.

Nassau West Tiara may be utilized this weekend for Vice President Kelly K Bartram's visit with the former Emperor of the United Dekieffian Imperial Empire (UDIE) and later, the Savage Chief of Tigibumwah, both First Unified Council of Kingdoms (FUCK) nations.

The two will visit the Nassau West Embassy in Hereford, AZ. They will meet with NW Secretary of State Wayland Bartram and Senior Ambassador Sara Bartram, prior to departing for an excursion to Tombstone, AZ.

VP Bartram has not seen the former leader in more than ten years, and has not been to Tombstone in more than two years. What a treat it will be!   Comments?

Hey, dammit, where's the rest?!!

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FUNNY! My Mom loves 'em!
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How about rooting for America for a change, you liberal scumbag?!
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