No Barbara Walters, apparently, so I'll say it for her, "I'm Barbara Walters, and this is 2020!" HaPpY nEw YeAr!! ;)
I'm comin' for 'ya!

"Life itself is a race, marked by a start and a finish. It is what we learn during the race, and how we apply it, that determines whether our participation has had particular value."

~ Ferry Porsche (1909-1988)


- Tucson, AZ -

The Bluegrass Show

The best Bluegrass in Southern Arizona! Milo’s Live Music Calendar lets you know about tons of great live music opportunities coming up over the coming months, weeks, and days!

Saturdays 10-12


(Seemingly LEFT-Leaning)

Noozilla news

© Copyright 1989-2020 KKB Enterprises, Ltd.

Please be advised that this Web site, all of its sub-sites, and all other material contained herein are the intellectual property of this Web site, and more specifically Kelly K Bartram.

All references to the Federal Republic of Nassau West, or its agencies, bureaus, departments, etc., are purely fictitious, and are for entertainment purposes only!

No part of this work may be used or reproduced in whole or in part by any means without the express PRIOR written consent of Kelly K Bartram. All rights reserved, damn 'ya!

All other copyrights, logos, service marks, trademarks, etc., used on this site are property of their respective owners.

Powered by Ivan

Need Help?

Who cares?!

Calm Radio   · Coast2Coast AM · deviantART · facebook · iHeartRadio ·   Instagram
KXCI 91.3 · Pandora · Tammy Bruce · TuneIn Radio · twitter · Yahoo! · YouTube

200102E2117  Happy New Year!

I'm Barbara Walters, and this is 2020! Well, we did it ... again. We made it another year! Yet another trip around the big fireball.

I was supposed to be out of my living quarters by the new year, however, due to miraculous abstract business, I failed to have enough time to get my poop in a group. I have been forced, nearly at gunpoint, to agree to another six month lease, starting February 1.

For the time being, they are letting me pay my usual amount, minus the $100 "month-to-month" fee, for January. I think that was very nice of them not to stick it to me. Unfortunately, starting February 1, my rent goes up $19/mo. Not terrible, but this place didn't get worth another $19/mo!

I have a great many things to accomplish before the new rental period expires on July 31, 2020. Thank God, I get to move in the middle of summer ... again. Over the next several months, before and after "the rock show" (The Tucson Gem & Mineral Showcase, I will be transferring newly-packed boxes into a new storage unit.

This way, when it is finally moving day, it will be a breeze. On August 1, 2020, I will move into my new humble abode.   Comments?

191112C2103  "SuperTanker" Down - BOLO Issued

The SuperTanker on Tuesday, November 12, 2019, at the NW Capitol. It is with a heavy heart that the Nassau West Department of Transportation has announced the accidental destruction of the "SuperTanker", which is used to hydrate (or dehydrate, depending on what liquid it is transporting at the time) NW Vice President Kelly K Bartram.

The "SuperTanker", shown in its current discombobulated state in the photo, has a liquid capacity of 100 ounces (oz). This capacity is just a bit over two 12 oz cans under a gallon (128 oz). When full of liquid (usually Dr Pepper, Pepsi, or tea of some sort [perhaps, "WhisTea"?]), the "SuperTanker" weighs in at over four pounds (lbs). Quite a strain on the wrist when full!

A claim has been filed with the Nassau West Federal Insurance Corporation (NWFIC) for replacement of the "SuperTanker", which retails at $15.99, about $17.50 with taxes. The claim has been approved, but a new "SuperTanker" has not yet been located at several of the local Circle K stores.

In response to the lack of action, the Nassau West Department of Justice has issued a BOLO (Be On the LookOut) to locate a new "SuperTanker". If anyone reading this article happens upon a Circle K store that has a 100 oz Polar Pop ("SuperTanker"), you are hereby implored to contact your nearest Nassau West representative with the location and details of what has been discovered.

Alternately, an search has been initiated to replace the "SuperTanker" with an even bigger vessel, 128 oz (one gallon). Hopefully, any new purchase of this type will include a wheeled stand of some sort to support the weight. This situation MUST be rectified ... ASAP.

The VP is just not the same without his DP (Dr Pepper)! Please, and thank you!   Comments?

191110A2024  DONE, and Done! Good Times are on their Way!

Nassau West Tiara on Saturday, November 9, 2019, at the NW Capitol. Nassau West Tiara has been FULLY recertified, as a result of the purchase and installation of new Cooper Cobra tires. However, it is worth noting that the braking system aboard needs attention, very soon.

So, as mentioned above, the first part of the problem is done! The new tires are GREAT, and there is now a spare onboard, as well.

Now, for the second part of done, new brake system equipment was purchased, and is awaiting installation. At this time, the braking system is not in dire need of correction, so the full recertification stands for now.

Nassau West Tiara may be utilized this weekend for Vice President Kelly K Bartram's visit with the former Emperor of the United Dekieffian Imperial Empire (UDIE) and later, the Savage Chief of Tigibumwah, both First Unified Council of Kingdoms (FUCK) nations.

The two will visit the Nassau West Embassy in Hereford, AZ. They will meet with NW Secretary of State Wayland Bartram and Senior Ambassador Sara Bartram, prior to departing for an excursion to Tombstone, AZ.

VP Bartram has not seen the former leader in more than ten years, and has not been to Tombstone in more than two years. What a treat it will be!   Comments?

Hey, dammit, where's the rest?!!

MY Local Weather

Tucson, AZ, USA - NW Capitol -
2019 NFC West
13 - 03 - 00

FUNNY! My Mom loves 'em!
--> <--

Weekend Update
without Dennis Miller

December, 2019

07-08 On-Call Weekend $
-- 07 Working ...
-- 08 On Call

14-15 OFF
-- 14 Working ...
-- 15 No Plans

21-22 On-Call Weekend $
-- 21 Working ...
-- 22 Working ...

28-29 OFF
-- 28 No Plans
-- 29 No Plans

January, 2020

04-05 On-Call Weekend $
-- 04 Working @ 9AM :(
-- 05 On Call

11-12 Scheduled OFF
-- 11 No Plans
-- 12 No Plans

18-19 On-Call Weekend $
-- 18 Working ...
-- 19 On Call

25-26 Scheduled OFF
-- 25 No Plans

-->   CLICK to Schedule!

How about rooting for America for a change, you liberal scumbag?!
In the News

This Day in History

Article of the Day

Today's Birthday